Anti-Bullying Resources

Assert Formula

A stands for ATTENTION: Before you can talk about and try to solve a problem you're having with someone else, you need to get his or her attention. Example: "Sean, I need to talk to you about something. Is now a good time?"

S stands for SOON, SIMPLE, and SHORT: Speak up as soon as you realize that your rights have been violated. Look the person in the eye and keep your comments brief and to the point. Example: "It's about something that happened in the hall today."

S stands for SPECIFIC BEHAVIOR: What did the p person do to violate your rights? Focus on the behavior, not the person. Be as specific as you can. Example: "I didn't like it when you p pushed me against my locker, I dropped my books, and you kicked them across the hall."

E stands for EFFECT ON ME: Share the feelings you experienced as a result of the person's behavior. Example: "It was embarrassing, plus I was late for class. I had to wait for the hall to clear before I could pick up my books."

R stands for RESPONSE: Wait for a response from the other person. He or she might try to brush you off with "What's the big deal?" or "Don't be a baby" or "Can't you take a joke?" or "So what?" Don't let it bother you. At least it's a response. On the other hand, the person might apologize.

T stands for TERMs. Suggest a solution to the problem. Example: " I want you to stop bother me in the hall. If you don't, I'll report you to the teacher."

Tips: The ASSERT Formula may feel strange and awkward at first. It isn't foolproof, and it won't always work. In some situations - for example, bullying that involves physical violence - it might make things worse. And some bullies feed on getting any kind of response, even an assertive response. If you're being assertive seems to anger or provoke the bully, walk away or run away.

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